Home > Uncategorized > What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Without Stephen Fry? (A Starter Guide For Twitter)

What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Without Stephen Fry? (A Starter Guide For Twitter)

Back in the day, there was a very clear process for signing up to twitter:

1. Sign up for twitter
2. Follow Stephen Fry
3. Read a couple of Stephen Fry’s tweets, and feel oddly unfulfilled
4. Go to the pub and talk about how shit twitter is

Last month though, media-appointed TWITTER-GOD Fry announced that he’d be hanging up his laptop while he focused on writing the follow-up to Moab Is My Washpot, the first volume of his autobiography, and twitter-newbies were sent into a tail-spin. “What the FUCK are we supposed to do now?” cried the people who’d just signed up to what they had been led to believe would be the equivalent of a never-ending episode of Fry and Laurie, broken up with the occasional philosophical biscuit from Ashton Kutcher. They were devastated.

And that’s why I’m writing this. It will be a short burst of narrative (this bit, the bit you’re reading now), followed by a list of people you can follow to get started. Or, if you’ve already started, that you can follow anyway, because they will all, in one way or another, make your life on twitter better. Because, and here’s the truth:

There’s more to twitter than Stephen Fry.

I know. Just keep breathing. Let it hit you. Swill it around your mouth for a bit, then say it with me. Trust me, it feels good. Done it? Ok. Here’s another one for you:

As a general rule, the twitterers you’ve read about in the papers ARE REALLY BORING.

I know. Twitter-blasphemy. But fuck it – it’s true. As a wise lady said recently, unfollowing Fry, Izzard et al felt like graduating; it’s a phase we all had to go through, and about which we prefer not to talk. But you, dear reader, don’t have to go through that phase. You can get straight, as they say, to the good shit.

So here’s the list. There’s no order to it; no rhyme nor reason. It’s a mixture of people who swear, people who pontificate, people how write about films or music, people who write about food, people who talk about ads, people who talk about anything that comes to them, people who aren’t real people… Importantly, it’s my list – these are all people I find interesting, amusing or both. You’ll love some of them, others will leave you cold; in which case you just unfollow. That’s the joy of twitter: it’s exactly what you make it; nothing more, nothing less.

(If you do choose to unfollow someone, though, don’t feel the need to @ mention the person to let them know – that’s the twitter equivalent of walking up to someone at a party, explaining you’ve been eavesdropping on them for the last twenty minutes, and that they’re FUCKING boring. Which, needless to say, is sodding rude. So don’t do it.)

Anyway – the list: @campaignmag, @markmedia, @jonathanbriggs, @Amelia_Torode, @dabitch, @adland, @JessGreenwood, @mashupevent, @iboy, @carlmartin, @jackfaulkner, @camiknickers, @Eamonn_Forde, @herdmeister, @adsoftheworld, @litmanlive, @joodoo9, @Matt_Muir, @LukeMackay, @Elika, @Ferders, @martingoode, @JezzaLee, @Colman, @doug_graeme, @straycarnivore, @nicowen, @W2Optimism, @GenYTrends, @Nero, @zambonini, @caitlinmoran, @EmmaK67, @alexispetridis, @snoxishere, @RealMenTweet, @HenryGreenwood, @neilperkin, @Bumblecricket, @Channel4News, @Floheiss, @guideguardian@theKaiserII, @willrolls, @guardiannews, @mikebutcher, @grumblemouse, @toyboxstudio, @Will_Humphrey, @Ruby_Pseudo, @CameronOlivier, @theodelaney, @tomgriffola, @dianainheaven, @Jackster69, @mashable, @laurenrubin, @oatmeal, @ammonite, @contagiousmag, @trippenbach, @1stpost, @robwillb, @themanwhofell, @dougiehouser, @katylindemann, @hollowlegs, @techcrunch, @serafinowicz (the ONLY ‘comedian’ on the list – and he can get very irritating), @essexeating, @lenisebrothers, @BelgianWaffling, @Film4, @theboyhimself, @BBHLabs@LucyBaxter, @downatheel, @McMucca

This is clearly not an exhaustive list – and I’d like you to help me build it. If there are people I’ve missed who absolutely HAVE to be there, add them in the comments. Hell, add yourself. The more, the merrier, and the better twitter gets for all of us.

UPDATE: I’ve built a twitter list of all of these people to make your lives EVEN easier, because I am dead nice. So follow them all here.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Lucybee
    February 8, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Where the hell am I?! Very pleased to see @dianainheaven up there though…my personal favourite at the moment. You’re always at the top of my list though, Mr Suit.

    • February 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm

      What are you talking about? You’re in there! (And I definitely didn’t just add you. Hell no.) x

  2. February 8, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    I’m with you all the way brother. I’ve never felt inclined to follow ‘celebrities’ cos they’re defacto shit. I agree wholeheartedly with Jack F and themanwhofell both genius tweeters. there’s quite a few I follow who you should check out @mofgimmers @talluhamiggins are two of the best.
    Love ya

    ps I’m about to unfollow fucking Jimmy Carr

    • February 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm

      Fucking right.
      I’ll check out those two – thanks for the tips.

  3. February 8, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    Oh fuck that should’ve been @tallulahmiggins sorry Mrs Miggins

  4. Ppparkaboy
    February 8, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    Let’s see now…

    @27bslash6 can be droll.
    @bengoldacre gives it both barrels lots.
    @kristinhersh is bonkers (but I forgive her coz the Muses were aces).
    @mrianleslie is deliciously waspish (about politics mostly).
    @richardpbacon is one celeb who definitely merits a follow.

    But good work. Lots for me to check up on!

    • February 8, 2010 at 11:34 pm

      You see? This is where it becomes annoying. @Ppparkaboy is also aces. FUCK – and so’s @matrebeiro. And @matriches. Listen – just follow EVERYONE.

      Apart from Graham Linehan. That boy’s got issues.

  5. Hjonesy
    February 9, 2010 at 9:08 am

    Glad to see I’m already following at least half of these.

    Does it have to be adland only or can it contain brandland lurkers too?

    If so, then I’d suggest @nathanawilliams, @jim_prior, @badgerboy69, @theklan, @parkersteve (although technically PR) for starters.

    Oh, and ME! @hjonesy

  6. Oliver Budworth
    February 9, 2010 at 9:09 am

    Damn it, 11,000 Tweets and still didn’t make the cut! So I’ll add myself to these comments: @oliverbudworth – my MD is funny and worth a mention too: @scotmcke


  7. February 9, 2010 at 9:32 am

    That is one hell of a list. Your life WILL improve by following these people. Guaranteed. What do you do Guaranteed? Anyway you missed two belters off the list.

    The first one you missed was a certain @GrahamCreative.
    The second one you missed was @AdamAndDan – a good, observant and funny young team (things which I am often not).

    Now, I can’t get a refund on Twitter, nor is there an ombudsman to pass fair rule. So I guess I’ll try to be less shit to get myself on your ‘must follow’ list… Hmm, I quite fancy that line on my business cards: GrahamCreative. I’m not shit.

    See you on TweetDeck. x

  8. February 9, 2010 at 9:32 am

    Sod it, I’m adding me (@betarish) as I’m a vainglorious sod. And @hollymix, ‘cos she’ll kill me if I don’t.

  9. hoskas
    February 9, 2010 at 11:08 am

    @cherylkerl @lateandsoon @gracedent @DrSamuelJohnson

  10. February 9, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    I wholeheartedly endorse all of the suggestions that have been added – and can happily confirm that grahamcreative is, as his business cards will soon say, not shit.

    It’s also worth saying (as they won’t say it about themselves) that Rishi’s a twitter (and real life) poet, HJonesey’s all kinds of lovely, and Mr Budworth’s a very funny man.

    As soon as I have a moment (which may well not be ’til this evening) I’ll be adding all of these folk to the twitter list. Fucking twitter lists.

  11. Ferders
    February 9, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Can’t believe the twin amazingness of @CreativeReview for consistent interestingness and @shitmydadsays for bowel looseningly funny.

  12. February 9, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Stephen Fry is wonderful, but I’d prefer him at the dinner table rather than in Tweetdeck. I’m honoured to be included in such wonderful, talented, entertaining and notorious other folks. I shall do everything possible within 140 characters to live up to this list.


  13. February 9, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    @Sean376 because he’s fucking hilarious.

    And there’s one more that you DEFINITELY left off your list but I’m not arrogant enough to say it…


  14. February 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Other than my shameless self plugging I completely agree with you about unfollowing anyone that the press suggests because usually they’re boring as shite. Apart from in this (http://is.gd/80FdP) instance of course.

  15. February 10, 2010 at 2:26 am

    Telling that you put Campaign first.

    • February 10, 2010 at 9:37 am

      More telling that I put you EXACTLY 24th.

  16. @james_mitchell3
    February 11, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    @joshweller is worth a follow he’s always very amusing, luckily he’s not famous enough to be a self indulgent prick like the afore mentioned ashton kutcher

  17. February 14, 2010 at 1:53 pm


    And obviously: @finchfactor.com

  18. February 15, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Instead of taking the resolutely shameless, self-promotional route one might expect of me, here’s why you probably shouldn’t follow me on Twitter:

    – I will happily sell out to any brand at any price on social media
    – I’ll reiterate the point 700 times a week that advertising agencies are a dying breed and that branding is the future
    – I’ll rant about my commute
    – I’ll mention my Audi all the bloody time (what a cock)
    – I’ll moan about having 2 CrackBerries (but secretly love it)
    – You’ll realise I’m a Conservative (sorry)

    And to cap all that you’ll also realise I’m one of those annoying English people that spends too much time in Los Angeles to be considered cool on either side of the Atlantic.

    Oh heck. Just follow me already.


  19. Joff
    July 1, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Richard Bacon should be off Twitter, TV and radio altogether!!

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